💌 Contact Us 💌
So, You Need to Talk?
We assume you are here because you are lonely, angry, or confused. We can help with at least one of those.
1. “Where is my Shirt/Sticker?”
Stop! Do not email Kale about your shipping tracking. He is just a guy (or a leaf?) and cannot operate a post office.
- All merchandise is handled by Fourthwall.
- If you have an issue with an order, a return, or shipping, please check your receipt or contact Fourthwall Support directly.
2. “I Have a Part Idea / I Found a Bug”
Did you invent a new type of blinker fluid? Did a link send you to the void? Do you just want to say hi?
- Email us: kale@kalecoauto.com
- Warning: We read everything, but we only reply if it’s funny or if we don’t owe you money.
3. “I Want to Argue with Strangers”
If you want to discuss the finer points of non-existent engineering, join the community.
4. Business, Collaborations & Mutual Hand Holding
Are you a fellow creator, automotive journalist, or brand with a terrible idea? We’d love to hear it.
- Real Humans: If you run a real site or channel and want to swap articles or do a collab project, email us at kale@kalecoauto.com with a subject line that implies “I am not a robot.”
- Solicitors & “Gurus”: If you are emailing to ask us for money: whether it’s for SEO services, a “processing fee” to be on your podcast, or a website audit: stop.
- In terms of money, there is no money.
- We spent it all on hosting fees and pretend car parts.
- You are barking up the wrong tree (and our mascot is a leaf, so he takes that personally).
5. Want Updates?
Join the KaleCo Club. It gives you site updates, new product alerts, and sometimes printable coloring pages.
- Monthly-ish updates highlighting our new fake products and fun articles.
- We are too lazy to be spammy.
- [Insert Newsletter Sign-up Form Block Here]